Photography saved my life. Without photography I would be dead or in jail. It gave me purpose. It opened the world in front of me. I could go everywhere and see it with my eyes, instead of being in a corner shooting up heroin and traveling inside my brain.

When I look at my photographs I can see they are all mixed up. Personal and reporting. They are entwined, it's hard to separate them.

After I come back from a trip I lock myself in my apartment listening to music for days and nights. It's hard to deal with people and normal things like going to a restaurant with bunch of friends. I make scrapbooks. I am trying to free my mind, to let the pain go.

I never thought I would live so long. I have pushed very hard against the edge of luck. I developed a kind of survival mode. Because the only thing that matters in a war zone is survival. I translated this to real life, but it doesn't go well with family or children or lovers. I was always thinking: today is my last day so lets take hold of it.

At the beginning, going back editing searching, it was heavy to go through the ruins of my life. In order to choose pictures from Sarajevo I had to go through the rolls of negatives and there were pictures of my ex-wife, my kids, my father who died, all mixed up with the horror of the siege daily life. Old rolls of film, all my ex girlfriends my lovers; I could see the moments when everything fucked up when all my illusions ends.

Often I feel like it's just an endless cycle that is getting worse and worse. 

I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.